wrong-right thoughts

if i say, i don't happy with my life, would it be wrong?
Would you dare tell me it is false?
1 decision is very enough to ruin a nice life... every day i am waiting for bright days..
i feel i am doing so many mistakes...but i don't know why or where my mistakes are. isn't it great ? a long sigh hit the road thank you!
sadly, i don't know to fix it... everyday i'm desperately praying to go back a few years but it turns with the big NO. so, maybe i just need to work it out with a baby step..But i tire... very tire...

so dumb...

in my sleep just thiking on it...
What have i done! I made a same mistake, twice..
God..what should i do if i cannot find them...
How can i meet their faces...?
What have i told them?
For 2 days.. I have been living in afraidness..
I know U always have a way.. And i should be brave... But i cannot...
My pray: give me Your strenght ... Help find them...
I.. Surrender in Your hand...follow Your path..

-feel hopeless-

changes...

the changes...
I'm not kind a person that always exciting about changes... Every changes that happened, i need time to adjust myself with it...
But i always longing for changes; hoping good changes. Never want to let go the HOPE... Because in hope, i always find the strenght... I put hope really high in my Dad...
This days... A lot of changes is happened. I'm shocked... I did some mistakes... But this thing, the situation is really much like hell for me. I've been underestimated by some people... But i won't do anything to get revenge or anything. I think it's not important... But i'm so confuse what should i do? I feel like i have no options... But i'm trying to make a difference. Try to make the situation more bright... trying to be optimist and not afraid of anything. trying to hold His strenght! although, i'm scare of this thing. this thing too much, but He will defeat it with me.
the funny fact is i'm not excited about changes; but i'm thinking to make a big jump of changes.
i don't what going to be, how the result, how the ending say...
but everything gonna be alright. i will not be ignored by Him, or abondoned...
so, i'll be fine.
NO! I'll be PERFECT at the end.

-feel dizzy-
be blessed.